AI is rotting my brain
AI has been on my brain a lot lately, which is, to put it mildly, shit.
I make a lot of content about AI and machine learning, not because I’ve got a case of the AI-sparkle eyes, but to protect my career. I remember what it was like struggling to get a job back in 2023 after I’d taken a year off. I thought I’d be employed in a month or two. It took me six. I had to borrow money, drain half my Roth IRA, and every day I woke scared, and went to bed scared. My situation was not unique, nor am I trying to garner sympathy; I’m just stating the facts. It was a bad time for Annie, and I don’t want to go back.
So, AI it is.
Lately I’ve been facing a lot existential dread about where our industry is going. I know I’m not alone in this. I’ve tried not to dwell on it, but AI news is everywhere. And my job is AI. And my side channel is AI. I’ve chosen a life where this is my focus. How stupid of me.
So why do I do this?
It’s not all bad
I decided a while back that I would learn the shit out of machine learning. Studying this subject has actually done wonders to quell my anxiety. Not because it’s given any fewer reasons to fret, but because it’s given me:
- A new thing to nerd over
- AI tech bro gaslighting armor I want to understand these things because I don’t want the wool to be pulled over my eyes. And I want to protect others from the same risk. I don’t know exactly what knowledge will help me combat this, so my attitude has been: Fuck it, I’ll learn everything.
The tech is actually very cool
One thing I learned during my year away from tech is that my brain needs to be challenged, or else I go insane (I was very depressed that year).
Despite all of my recent existential dread, I’m very happy to be back in a technical field, and learning about AI and machine learning has been gloriously stimulating.
I’m currently one chapter away from finishing finished with my second book on AI: Deep Learning: A Visual Approach, by Andrew Glassner. It’s a beast, but extremely well-written and surprisingly sparse in actual math. Which is crazy, because machine learning is *all math. *Either way, it’s been a fantastic read and makes you feel like a real wiz.
Learning about the technology of the ML models that are ruining the world is weirdly soothing. It’s complicated, for sure, but not magic. I know you know it’s not magic, but when you don’t understand it, it sure feels like something mysterious and dangerous and worth burning at the stake.
It’s in researching this heresy that I’m reminded that the true evil here is not the technology itself, but how people choose to use it.
“Guns don’t kill people”
AI has completely changed my career for the better (aside from the existential dread). It’s allowed me to learn faster than I ever thought was possible, and it’s even helped me break through writers block in my creative writing more times than I can count.
And if I could wave a magic wand, I’d make it all disappear.
AI is technically neutral, right? Kind of like money. It can be used for good or evil.
The problem is that just because some of us try to use AI ethically doesn’t mean other people will. We are tripping over ourselves, running down a path with no guard rails. This is the Wild West. Our laws, our governments have nothing to cope with the tide that is crashing into our reality.
We are not prepared for how much it’s going to fuck with us.
It’s not slop anymore.
The notion that AI shouldn’t be used for art – or even code – because it produces “slop” is a quickly deteriorating argument.
Obviously some of it is slop, but that argument is going to be our downfall. Remember what AI images looked like back in early 2023? It’s barely been two years and now you can generate images – even some videos – that are indistinguishable from the real thing. These models will only get better, and deluding ourselves in thinking that they’ll never be as “good” as human art – or code – is dangerous.
Iteration is one hell of a drug, people.
A note on AI art…
Just to be clear, AI art is trash, but not because it sometimes looks soulless.
It’s trash because it is soulless.
If we take away human-made art, we are taking away one of the most core things that make us human. The earliest evidence of art predates the earliest signs of agriculture. That’s how fundamental it is.
AI art leaves me feeling like a layer of grime has grown over my eyeballs.
I can at least rest assured that AI might (will) destroy artistic careers, but it will never stop us from making art. We couldn’t stop even if we tried.
Raging against the machines – with joy
Things are going to get a whole lot worse before they get better, and unless you’re a billionaire, you probably don’t have much influence over that. So what do peons like you and me do to keep our sanity?
Make things.
As some of you know, I make comics. I published my first graphic novel earlier this year. Well, I say published, but really I just printed 10 copies and gave them away to friends and family. But either way, I made a thing – it took me seven years – and I’m so proud of it.
Now I’m making a new comic, a Western fantasy adventure romance. I love it with all my heart.
Just like I take my meds everyday, I need to remember to take my joys.
And this is your reminder too.
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